Bulletin bits: news of the weird from Amherst

It is high time that I return to regular chronicling of oddities and inanities contained in the infamous Amherst Bulletin police blotter. I hope at some point to compile a catch-up list of oldies but goodies, but the blogosphere prizes immediacy, so first things first. 

Gems from the latest issue:

SUNDAY, NOV. 23
SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY

* 1:51 a.m. - A person seen climbing through a window of a Phillips Street home checked out OK. He was known to the residents.

* 7:56 p.m. - A Yale University football player visiting his girlfriend at an Amherst home was brought to Cooley Dickinson Hospital in Northampton for treatment after police found him having a panic attack. The man told police he may have sustained head injuries from hits he took in the previous day's game against Harvard.

DISTURBANCES

* 12:35 a.m. - A teenage boy became out of control at a Southpoint Apartments home after watching a television program.

TUESDAY, NOV. 25
SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY

* 7:52 p.m. - A Chestnut Court Apartments woman told police her house was shaking. Police officers got there and determined there was no shaking, and that the woman was likely experiencing the effects of having been inside a car most of the day.

* 4:16 p.m. - Police were unable to locate a white goat wandering in the middle of South East Street near the South Amherst Town Common. Two days later at 9:47 a.m., the goat was reported wandering in the area of the South Amherst alternative high school.

As always, one couldn't make this stuff up. (But one could make up some commentary: wanna try?).