Coulda been a lot worse?

"Without their help this project would be much, much worse"

--from the acknowledgments in one of our students' senior theses

It was in fact quite good (to start with, as well), and this modest portrayal of self and expression of gratitude toward teachers is actually one of the nicest compliments.

Billionaires and Students: How to Succeed in Life

During an appearance before the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco, oil man T. Boone Pickens recounted how he floundered in college at Oklahoma State, and what his father told him to set him straight:

"'Son,' he said . . . 'your mother and I don't think you're on the same plan we are for graduation,' and I had to agree . . . . He said, 'Let me just give you a little advice.' He said, 'Son,' he said, 'A fool with a plan can beat a genius with no plan, and what we're afraid of, is, your mother and I are afraid of, that we have a son that's a fool with no plan.'"

Amherst: Your Tax Dollars at Work

So, here's what happened.

We get our local census form in March, as always, just before the spring election, so that we can ensure we are on the voter rolls. Recording household pets is optional. On the back, there is also a form on which one can fill out an application for a dog license, which must be renewed each spring. One can send a stamped, self-addressed envelope and have the license mailed, or one can pick up the license in person.

Last year, I dropped off the form and paid the license fee right away at Town Hall, but was told that the license--which is required by April 1 and whose purchase is enforced after May 31--was not ready yet. I came back for it a few weeks later.

So, this year, when the form arrived, I sent in the fee and figured that I would save myself the postage and save the clerks the trouble of doing a mailing by instead stopping by Town Hall (where I often have to go on business anyway) to get the license later when it was finally ready.

Evidently, the Town bureaucrats had a better idea. Writing me via first-class mail--which cost the Town and the taxpayers 42 cents--they informed me that I had neglected to provide them with a self-addressed envelope bearing stamps worth 84 cents.


We are in the midst of a budget crisis. You do the math and contemplate the logic. Any questions?

Easter Greetings

My friend Kathy always sends out fine Easter greetings, including this classic, which has won plaudits from my acquaintances even in the northeasternmost reaches of the former East Germany.

She posted this and more on the Easter entry of her new blog, which otherwise focuses on quirks of language.

I Think I'll Open a Feudal Restaurant

Student confusion regarding concepts and spelling is common and should generally be treated with a certain amount of charity, but some errors are just classics, the more so when they come in pairs:

"these terms of identity were the synthesis of modernity--pre-dating notions of identity as a surf, as a burger, as a communal member"

I'm thinking of opening a theme restaurant on the feudal era (or, as students sometimes call it: "the futile era"). "Surf and burger" would be perfect for the luncheon and pub menu: I imagine something like a lobster roll and quarter-pounder combo. (I'm not sure I want to think about the "communal member.")

MATZA BALL RAP

Holiday silliness. Passover greetings.

Good News About Hampshire College: We're neither filthy nor suicidal

From the consultants' presentation on our facilities situation and needs:

According to the standards of the Association of Physical Plant Administrators(APPA), our campus is not beautiful and spotless, like that of wealthier neighbors, such as Amherst, and yet it is not dirty and dilapidated, either. Rather, in the professional parlance, the condition of our facilities is characterized by:

"moderate dinginess."

Summary of our situation, with high demands and limited capital:

"You all haven't lost hope. Oh, that didn't come out quite right."