Glad I am not the teacher reading that paper

Stereotypes notwithstanding, this one is actually from UMass rather than Hampshire.

Student recounting story:

So I knock on his door and say, "Man, where the hell were you?! We had a job scheduled, and you didn't show up!"

He says, "I had a paper to write."

So, I said: "Is that why your room smells of frigging weed??!!